North and South

Adventure

2012-02-03T10:14:00.001Z

On Wednesday I helped evacuate a train that I was on that caught fire between stations . It sounds dramatic and exciting but, to be honest, it is so bloody cold just now that it came nowhere near matching the thrill I felt when presented with my girl's first attempt at 'toad in the hole'.

You may think it sad but, heck, in these austere times in the UK, this is what constitues a good time. And , unless you're vegetarian, it tasted as good as it looked.

language development

2012-01-27T09:26:00.001Z

Inaya speaks

2012-01-26T13:50:00.000Z

Dribblers

2012-01-23T17:13:00.001Z

Finally got round to dooming my daughter to a life of let downs and angst by signing her up for a Spurs membership. I’ve even done it on direct debit which is more than I do for myself. Once I’d destined her to eternal pit of shattered hopes the website kindly took me to a gallery of pictures sent in by young Spurs dribblers. This one is my favourite. Somehow it catches the essence of the man and, in many ways, the club as a whole.

Trashy mag

2012-01-21T23:26:00.001Z

I wouldn't mind but she takes up the whole sofa and the whole "reading upside-down" thing is just showing off.

Stark warning

2012-01-21T11:57:00.001Z

I think I get the message on daughter's nappies.

Inaya speak

2012-01-19T22:57:00.001Z

My daughter doubled her vocabulary over night. She can now say "burp" as well as "dad". I'm so proud.

2012 first 2 days

2012-01-02T12:36:00.001Z

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It's a sign! (again)

2011-12-30T15:46:00.001Z

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I don't know if you recall the bird 'deposit' I found on the canal in the shape of the Spurs crest but this reminded me of that. I saw it on the wall of a house round the corner when I went out for the paper this morning . They'd sold out. I hope it's a sign of something great for the mighty Spurs rather than a sign about my newspaper.

Christmas day entertainment

2011-12-27T10:30:00.001Z

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Playing

2011-12-24T19:06:00.001Z

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I predict a mild complaint

2011-12-21T10:16:00.001Z

Here's my 87 year old grandad on the day of his first visit to our house near the scene of the riots in South East London. He's up for it . Says he could use some new trainers and a bigger TV.

cats or dogs

2011-12-14T16:48:00.001Z

I’m not usually as amused as family, friends or colleagues by the cute things that pets do (or are made to do) but, hey, everyone has a soft side. Maybe it’s the new baby; maybe my cold, cold heart is naturally softening with old age.

Tongue thing and "dada"

2011-11-26T15:40:00.001Z

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Cousin's birthday

2011-11-19T20:00:00.001Z

As if stripping wallpaper isn't painful enough

2011-11-19T19:58:00.001Z

Free day in

2011-11-11T07:25:00.001Z

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Take a thousand pictures of your kid/s and partner then spend time being forced to delete 990 of them because the partner looks "urgh" and your child looks like ET. "acceptable" wife shots may well look like ones below . Good kid shots should include at least one where they're looking pensively at something other than you.

Free days out 1

2011-11-10T14:10:00.001Z

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Get yourself down to "Dreams" and try out all the beds

Dog next door

2011-11-08T11:20:00.001Z

I am feeling murderous. What's the best way to "silence" one?

Life...

2011-11-03T15:09:00.001Z

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...is getting in the way of my cathartic blogging. House needs so much work , work needs so much work and too little time is left for my family, let alone stuff like reading, writing and looking a cats falling off walls on YouTube. But I can post photos of my gorgeous little girl so here are some. One is with her brother who won't thank me for it but he's just passed his driving test and got 100% on his pass plus so he's ebullent and fogiving just now. The score board is a reminder of my other true love (after offspring and wife of course).

Sitting

2011-10-30T11:18:00.001Z

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When you watch a baby trying to sit you realise that even this sedentary activity takes skill. Inaya's record so far is about one minute. Yesterday we were able to bet on the number of seconds she could stay upright. That pleasure quickly passed. If you know any good (non violent) baby gambling games them let me know.

Jarring

2011-10-09T22:26:00.001+01:00

Too often these days the contents of packets of food disappoint because they fail to live up to the promise of the "serving suggestion" on the packaging. On the other hand ...

!

2011-10-04T22:40:00.001+01:00

Not annoying at all

2011-10-03T20:37:00.001+01:00

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Si!

2011-09-30T11:25:00.001+01:00

Good guess

2011-09-30T08:00:00.001+01:00

I popped into a pub on my way "home" last night to watch the Spurs v Shamrock Rovers Euro match. Even if you've never heard of them you might hazard a guess as to where they were from. So my choice of irish pub made for interesting banter, not least when Rovers took the lead. Much back slapping and Guiness all round. I noticed too in the 10 mins between them scoring and Spurs finally pulling their collective finger out that accents got a lot stronger. "lilting" was no longer the right descriptor.

Later an old guy hobbled up to the bar and we chatted a bit. He told me of his many fascinating ills and of his deceased brother who he didn't talk to anyway because he once hit his sister and "loiked the Arrrsenal" (I kid you not). When he said this I warmed to him considerably so when he asked how old I thought he was I went very low, knocking 15 years of my real estimate. "65?" I suggested. "yes," he said, picking up his pint and making his way back to his seat.

The evidence

2011-09-29T18:11:00.001+01:00

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Rolling

2011-09-29T18:09:00.001+01:00

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3rd time she has done this. Now we just have to wait another month before she can roll back.

Inaya's day

2011-09-26T04:49:00.001+01:00

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Meeting cousin Ava over from Australia, lunch with great grandad in the pub and trying out the new chair.

Putting the 'oi' in choir

2011-09-20T09:37:00.001+01:00

This is not something I would have thought I’d be interested in. Perhaps it’s because I’m full of cold. Perhaps it’s because the mighty Spurs have left me in a post-victory haze of contentment. Perhaps I’m just getting old. Despite a hint of smugness, this bloke has achieved something quite phenomenal. Well worth watching through if you have 15 mins to spare. Of course, the combination of the traditional with the ‘cloud’ is what drew me in but what kept me there was the soothing singing. I’m trying to write this without sounding like I’m taking the piss. Really I’m not.

http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_whitacre_a_virtual_choir_2_000_voices_strong.html

a valuable lesson

2011-09-19T16:26:00.001+01:00

Can’t wait to try this:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Crakermanar#p/u/0/wsBon3DTwIY

Ooh that was sweet

2011-09-18T19:49:00.001+01:00

First food

2011-09-16T16:36:00.001+01:00

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Apart from licking bits of my dinner, this is Inaya's first solid nosh. I'd make the same face if you gave me mushed up carrots and potato.

Wheat snack revolution

2011-09-15T22:49:00.001+01:00

I have found new favourite crisps. And they're only 20p. I bet they're good for me too. This is one area where the 'neverred' pledge doesn't apply.

!

2011-09-13T22:13:00.001+01:00

New jumper and new pose

2011-09-11T14:14:00.001+01:00

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L'arse sink to new low

2011-09-09T22:50:00.001+01:00

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/world-of-sport/article/66828/

This is well worth a read. It beggars belief really. How can they do this? Arrogance & pettiness are big Wenger traits and it seems this pervades the whole club. They think they own a word. The world over. It's like Blackburn getting uppity about the pub in Coronation Street or Chelski demanding the Clinton girl change her name.

If I was from the prawn sandwich side of North London I'd be hanging my head in shame righr now.

Style

2011-09-06T08:36:00.001+01:00

Hair cut sorted. Now to decide on the tattoos.

Good taste in paper

2011-09-03T12:28:00.001+01:00

Though Inaya has struggled with the cryptic crossword today.

some of my work podcasts

2011-08-31T14:58:00.001+01:00

Podcast Powered By Podbean

When you have no time...

2011-08-30T23:18:00.001+01:00

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..... to type anything sensible for people to ignore then upload some photos.

Fascinating and informative and better than a book

2011-08-17T16:19:00.001+01:00

Inaya plays with balloon

2011-08-16T18:37:00.001+01:00

p1114.mov Watch on Posterous

Nothing much to add to that except that it makes the whole day worthwhile.

Someone's trying to tell me something

2011-08-08T20:14:00.003+01:00

In the week when I have been packing all our stuff and moving it from 'God's own county' to London and helping my son fund raise for next year's expedition two things are most prominent in the UK news. First there was the tragic death of a teenager in Norway's Arctic circle. He was on an expedition that my son is planning on undertaking next year. Now there are the equally tragic riots in my home 'village' of Tottenham. Keep your eyes and ears open for some kind of big 'event' at a London educational establishment as I start a new job on Monday.

Early potential

2011-08-05T11:01:00.001+01:00

p1100.mov Watch on Posterous

Keepy uppy at 12 weeks. I'm goiong to give the Spurs chairman a ring see if I can get a contract. At current prices sje must already be worth nearly a million.

Baby-san

2011-08-04T18:30:00.001+01:00

Karate kid part IV out soon

Not much more of this

2011-07-30T16:29:00.001+01:00

2 weeks until we move back to the smoke. Yesterday we walked half a mile and saw sheep, goats, horses and chickens.

Baby bomb vest

2011-07-30T16:26:00.001+01:00

From Mothercarnage

Chatting

2011-07-24T18:55:00.001+01:00

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Baby washing

2011-07-24T15:29:00.001+01:00

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I like this because it says old and new. Our street is classic washing lines and no cars (not a lot of those left even up north) but the clothes are baby fresh and small and could just as easily be dried by squeezing them a bit .

Toast

2011-07-24T11:56:00.001+01:00

Do you remember the days when toast was fun? I do so you can imagine how happy I was to find this .

11weeks or so

2011-07-23T08:56:00.001+01:00

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We have instigated a hands up if you want to speak policy and some tough sanctions for rocking in the wrong place.

Not long left in Yorkshire... I shall miss its quirks and oddities (i.e. the people) but look forward to living back in "the smoke". I tried so hard to be a country boy but I guess that 5 or 6 walks in the countryside in 4 and a half years is less ghan impressive.

I'm leaving work

2011-07-13T14:36:00.001+01:00

So I made cartoons for my closest colleagues. This is the best evidence yet that I was underworked here; these things took bloody ages.

http://Pixton.com/ic:frqzzjwd

http://Pixton.com/ic:lyf9vmnu

http://Pixton.com/ic:ecns75l5

http://Pixton.com/ic:oq7d0e1l

http://Pixton.com/ic:tk8n54tz

http://Pixton.com/ic:rdiblva5

http://Pixton.com/ic:xcrav6xr

http://Pixton.com/ic:72g7kjff

Gym 2

2011-07-12T19:22:00.001+01:00

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Of all the cool stuff great grandad bought her this is the most popular. This chat she's having with the sheep can keep her occcupied for up to an hour a day.

Other inanimate friends include a balloon, the window, the lamp in the kitchen and a patch of wall. All these things get bigger smiles than her folks do.

Milestones:
she can sleep from 9pm until 4.30
Thumb sucking
Looks of disdain when either parent dances

Injections tomorrow.

Gio dos santos v USA

2011-06-26T23:12:00.001+01:00

Why doesn't he do this for Spurs?

Cute

2011-06-18T10:42:00.001+01:00

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We wonder why everything seemed so much better in the old days. It's easy to answer that really : it's because we're complicit in the formation of rose tinted memories through photography. Unless you're a war correspondent or a just a bit weird you'll be unlikrly to spend time snapping away at Uncle Jim's funeral, when little jonny gashed his knee or Bonzo copped it under the wheels of an 18 wheeler. The photos we take are the good times but as memory fades it is these things we hold on to the best. This isn't such a bad thing but I have spotted one problem. Why do women want a secind, third or fourth kid? It's because no-one thought to get the camera out during labour and we don't want to treasure the memory of early AM screaming, puddles of baby effluence or the pain of colic. Frpm here on I shall be much more balanced but for now here is another contribution to my romanticisation of this period.

Baby gym

2011-06-03T14:47:00.001+01:00

For the money I was a bit disappointed by the lack of a baby rowing machine but, hey, there's no monthly membership. I read somewhere that the best workout is to copy everything a baby does. I tried it for 5 minutes- they were not wrong.

Recipe

2011-05-31T13:39:00.001+01:00

My tolerance level's finally been reached. Any suggestions for getting the best flavour out of the little 'un? Posset is quite overwhelming so it should be something spicy. If you have to look up theword "posset" then I envy you.

Two weeks

2011-05-26T17:33:00.001+01:00

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She bashed her nose on my collar bone and squealed. It broke my heart and will stay with me forever but in her sleep I am sure it's all forgotten. I still get awful pangs of guilt about the time the boy flipped out the boot of the car and landed on his head.

On the plus side, we have bought and trialled a nose cleaning suction device. Gross but very effective. Every nose should have one.

nostalgia

2011-05-18T14:26:00.001+01:00

Having a baby seems to have made me think more about when I was a kid and these two cine film clips really evoke the zeitgeist of new town life in the 1970s. The moustache! The leather jacket! The pram! Although it does also seem to suggest that it didn’t take much to keep us occupied. When my daughter gets a bit older she’s getting a clothes horse to play with.

And a reason why it's all worth it

2011-05-10T07:30:00.001+01:00

Born just past midnight . A proper cockney girl

Reasons why V

2011-05-07T17:23:00.001+01:00

Constant night-time visits to the "bathroom" thereby waking up your long suffering husband.

Reasons why IV

2011-05-07T17:20:00.001+01:00

Suddenly basic maths becomes a pressing concern. How will THIS get out of HERE? I don't have the answers but I am sure in the next few days I can repay the ignorance by allowing myself to get sworn at and beaten as my wife finds out the answer to her question.

Reasons why III

2011-05-07T17:15:00.001+01:00

Apparently this is uncomfortable. To be honest if I had those feet I wouldn't be worrying about the belly.

Reasons why II

2011-05-06T22:56:00.001+01:00

... You start weighing up merits and demerits of barred furniture and, REALLY, worry less about themighty spurs! Though i have to say it's a good time to care a little less and don't even get me started on those "goals" that Chelski "scored" last week.

Reasons why you should listen in sex ed classes I

2011-05-06T22:51:00.001+01:00

This is what has happened to my wife's feet. Granted she is due today but no-one told me about this side effect. For some reason I keep thinking "umbrella stand"

this video makes me really happy

2011-04-14T17:31:00.001+01:00

lest we forget

2011-03-29T17:57:00.003+01:00

It’s easy to forget significant moments in history, especially when their prominence is usurped by some bigger event. Les Arses failure to do anything in three of the four things the arrogant Woolwich Wanderers thought they were in with a shout for, especially the Carling Cup, has pushed into the background their 10-1 defeat to Villa in the reserve fixture back in January. In case anyone had forgotten or had missed it, I felt it was my duty to broaden its exposure a little. If you like hand wringing, here is the full story from THEIR point of view courtesy of http://www.ars3na2.com/ (doesn’t really exist)

On a disappointing night… I don’t know where to start. It’s 10-1, what can you say? It’s a major embarrassment but we’ve got to get up and get on with it. No-one likes to get beaten 10-1. There’s not really much you can say, I think 10-1 says it all.

On what he said to his players after the game… I don’t think there’s any need for raised voices. You expect better standards and you don’t expect an Arsenal team, at any level, to get beat 10-1. We can organise and we can work with them but we’re all a team and we’ve all got to take it on the chin, take the criticism and get on with it.

On whether the early sending off changed the game… I think it did a little bit. We made a few early mistakes. You come to Villa and you’ve got to be on your mettle at the best of times. We’ve made some dreadful mistakes, they’ve capitalised and punished us. What was really disappointing was that it was a lack of character and that’s what I’m really disappointed about. It’s the character when you’re losing. We’ve allowed ten goals to be scored against us in a game which should never happen.

On a bad day… It’s just an extremely bad day but it’s football and we will pick ourselves up. No team at Arsenal should get beaten 10-1. We’ve all got to take the blame, me as well, the staff and the team and we get on with it.

Spurs can win the title

2011-03-29T17:42:00.002+01:00

Finally some real success! I was reviewing some footage on youtube yesterday including this one I posted from the end of the Carling Cup final (the one where we won, not the one we played magnificently in then lost because taking a good penalty is embarrassing or uncool or something)

[ contains clearly audible swearing- you have been warned. It wasn’t me, it was the bloke next to me]and I realised that the Champions’ league is all very well, if still annoyingly mis-named, but what about actually winning something? Then I found that Spurs are one win away from winning the league. It’s the Spurs Ladies but credit and straw clutching where it’s due. COYSL!

Gratitude

2011-03-28T23:09:00.001+01:00

We gave a relative a car. An old one that's not worth much but we thought he'd be happy. He called later and said "I can't find the sat nav". Later still he found that insurance was too much so he's going to sell it. There's something wrong here I think.

heterodoxy

2011-03-08T15:38:00.001Z

“Thank God there are no free schools or printing; …for learning has brought disobedience and heresy into the world, and printing has divulged them… God keep us from both” So said William Berkely the Governor of Virginia in the mid 17^th Century. This is the quote that stands alone ahead of the contents page (the first item of which is ‘crap Detecting’ on p.15) in Postman and Weingartner’s ‘Teaching as a Subversive Activity’. Never has a quote hooked me as much as this one. You can read the whole book in pdf here: http://iwcenglish1.typepad.com/Documents/Postman_Teaching_As_Subversive_Activity.pdf but, regrettably the quote is missing from this version.

I think I am a subversive teacher to a point but possibly not in the way entirely advocated in this book. That’s, of course, if I have got the point properly. I love the yellowed pages of the 1973 edition that was gifted to me by a student but those same yellow pages and the tiny font mean I can only manage a few pages at a time. Oh and I also have a job which is, of course, being a subversive teacher. When I read the critical elements I am reminded of the scenes in The Wire where ‘Prezbo’ encounters disengaged students being taught to the national tests.

as if...

2011-03-08T14:58:00.001Z

…texting itself wasn’t the ultimate time stealer. Reading other people’s failed texts where autocorrect has changed a word can eat up a whole morning. Some of these are wonderful. My favourite is the guy who texted his daughter that he and his wife were going to divorce next month. He meant Disney. I make no apologies for wasting your time at work.

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

man this is cute

2011-03-03T11:23:00.001Z

Roald Dahl said something along the lines of ‘there’s no more wonderful sound than a kiddy laughing.’ At least I think it was him, no time to check. Even though millions have already seen this I think it could be like the impact of Bill and Ted’s music if enough people get to hear it.

and another one

2011-03-02T16:40:00.001Z

Not sure why this is a) so compelling b) so funny and c) a little bit creepy

forget practical applications...

2011-03-02T16:39:00.001Z

… this is what the internet is for

schadenfreude

2011-02-28T16:33:00.001Z

No lillywhite would admit to cheering an Arsenal defeat more than a Spurs victory but a lot must have been like me on Sunday when, with a minute to go the arrogant Woolwich Wanderers bottled it in defence and gifted a goal to Birmingham, I hit the roof and nearly smashed the TV with the stuff that flew out of my pockets. The A***nal end emptied like there was a bomb scare or fire drill and the blue and white half of North London became de facto ‘blue noses’ for the moment. City held to a draw by the mighty Fulham and West Ham doing us a favour against Liverpool helped to make it a very satisfying Match of the Day. No doubt I’ll be laughing on the other side of my face come the end of the season but for now I will have pleasure.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

what the?

2011-02-22T19:17:00.001Z

Now I rarely stoop to the purile but the residual teenager that still lurks somewhere at the back of my brain made me choke on my coffee last night when I saw a clip from an episode of Star Trek from which this still is taken. The prop guy (girl?) MUST have known surely? Or did 'Bill' Shatner insist on it? Was it one of those in jokes or subversive tricks that people in TV and film like to sneak in? A thousand space-type innuendos occur (mostly involving the solar system's 7th planet) but I'll resist the temptation.

Yorkshire Sculpture Park

2011-02-21T16:41:00.001Z

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Public Servants II

2011-02-21T16:25:00.003Z

Last night we had to go to hospital. Thank God everything is OK (or at least on the mend) but the contrast between this (in Yorkshire) experience and the last one (in London) was profound. My wife was disconcerted this time around. Not becuase anything bad happened but because they were so nice. In London we weren't so much greeted as grudgingly ordered to sit on a plastic chair next to a constantly used (and less than sweet smelling) toilet. The woman in charge had a snarl and grimace that would ensure a job as a child catcher or troll should the East London NHS trust decide she's surplus to requirements in the next round of cuts. I would never wish redundancy on anyone but this woman was so rude part of me at least felt unkind thoughts. Couple that with the dank cellar (or 'consulting room' as they called it) and the very ill people looking out of hollow eyes from trolleys in corridors and the signs that say 'wash your hands you bastard' or words to that effect) and =you get a picture of the rough end of modern healthcare in the UK. Basically more grave than cradling. In Halifax they were shiny, pleasant, re-assuring and informative. The treatment was fast and effective. We couldn;t have asked for more. As we left my wife said :" If that woman had been any friendler I'd have punched her face in."

sore loser

2011-02-15T23:06:00.001Z

21.44: Gattuso at the final whistle continues his spat with Jordan and head-butts the coach.
He is picking on the wrong man and although Jordon maintains his dignity by not reacting, Spurs players and coaches pour in to push Gattuso away from the scene before it gets even more ugly.

21.46: In fairness Jordon didn't look like he was going to react but it's bad losing at its worst from Gattuso.

Spurs fans won't let this ruin a wonderful moment though, their side have just beaten AC Milan at the San Siro.

Graeme Souness : 'Gattuso is a little dog and well past his best. I wish he had 5 mins with Joe Jordan in a room on his own'

Champions league we're having a laugh

2011-02-15T22:43:00.001Z

I can't believe it. Every player, take a bow. Bring on Barca! Gatusso v jordan? No contest. He's a dog! Graeme Souness says so.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

scrapblog

2011-01-25T13:55:00.000Z

2011-01-13T18:19:00.000Z

I'm bored with winter. I need blue sky and mountains or gree or sea that glares so much you can't look at it.

Public Servants 1

2011-01-06T11:13:00.001Z

I’ve rarely heard anyone use this term without accompanying it with at least a wry smile. Usually it’s a snort or even a guffaw. It goes without saying that the police are least likely to live up to the notion of serving. When Robert Peel first proposed a police force in the early 19^th century the public were worried that there would be a spy on every corner and these agents of the state would be used to oppress the people in ways that were happening in France at that time. The myth of ‘Dixon of Dock Green’ was truncheoned into oblivion a long time ago and recent events such as the killing of a passer by and ‘kettling’ of children at legal demonstrations denied the former of life (which presumably is a human right that even the most right wing Daily Mail reading toss pot would concur with) and the latter all manner of other rights. The acquiescence and complacency of much of the media and a lot of the public shows how pathetic we have become in terms of political understanding or, perhaps, how much we are willing to concede for…what? A quieter life? Lower taxes? Fewer immigrants? It won’t be long before the cuts and job losses impact on the public consciousness, then the media and Clapham Omnibus users will be asserting first their disquiet then their outrage coupled with assertive claims that they had been against this rogue Cameron and these nasty, brutish policeman all along (who are probably infiltrated by brown people of course). It happened with the invasion of Iraq. It will happen again here so long as the agitators and activists keep the faith, persist in the face of illegal oppression by the ‘boys in blue’ and understand that their efforts will be forever an embarrassing foot note once the snow balls become an avalanche.

inspired

2011-01-05T15:51:00.001Z

I was listening to a programme on the radio this morning about the impact the King James bible has had on language and life since early 17^th century through to the last one but then how in the 60s they felt the need to update the language and even more recently it was ‘comic stripped’ and even written in various dialects (though I suspect these are more gimmicks than genuine attempts to pass on the messages of the book). Sometimes though someone is able to tap into the zeitgeist and exploit it in a way that genuinely impresses. This is a fantastically creative take on both today and the nativity.

M's comic - just seeing if it embeds OK in blogger

2010-12-16T21:50:00.001Z

Image editor

2010-12-16T12:30:00.001Z

Who needs to pay shed loads of cash when they can use free online tools like this one? http://www.pixlr.com/ Pixlr has a range of editing tools like Photoshop express including a number of quick filters. I applied one as you can see above. This is the boy when he still valued fresh air and exercise over Playstation. Last night he went Lazer Questing in an NBC suit. He drank a litre of coke and vomited the whole lot up when he got back. I don’t have a picture of that. If I did I don’t think that even Pixlr could do much about that.

tech changes, tech glitches and missed penalties

2010-12-14T16:52:00.001Z

I have moved my blog. I hope, though, that the posts I put on the new host (Posterous) will automatically post to my old one (Blogger). It should make it all easier since Posterous allows me to post directly from e mail which I can do on my laptop or I Phone without having to log in to the blog account. It also makes uploading images, video files, audio and documents that much easier too as they can be attached to the e mail and Posterous does all the formatting. I have had a few issues with embed codes but apart from that it’s bloomin’ brilliant. To embed a Youtube clip (like this one: )I only have to post the link. I have been feeling edgy since not posting much since I got married really. Yeah, my wife does order me around a lot and makes me do stuff like cooking and cleaning but, to be fair, she’s never said ‘stop wasting time on that , nobody reads it’.

Before the game on Sunday I said to a bloke near me that I didn’t really enjoy the derbies. Even when we were 4-1 up against L’Arse I was edgy so in a 1-nil I have no hope. It was gratifying to see Drogba miss the pen on Sunday after all the misses our lot have made recently. Maybe it’s a hint that he wants away from the Bridge in the direction of the Lane.

Ken Robinson on education

2010-12-07T16:54:00.001Z

Not a lot to disagree with here in my view. All we need now is the cultural revolution...handg on, I'm not sure that's the right phrase

Looking for lost contact lenses?

2010-11-20T21:05:00.000Z

after the library, a take away

2010-11-20T20:17:00.001Z

credit to 606er (Galvin and Stacey) for this one. We have to gloat and bask while we can.

2-3 MEAL DEAL

STARTERS
Hard Cheese & Sour Grapes
Prawn Brigade Cocktail
Roasted Walnut
Poached egg (on face)

MAINS
Humble Pie, (cooked with goons fat)
Mashed Spuds*

EXTRAS
Pat Mullered Rice
Garlic Breath
Cheesy wums

BEVERAGES
Whine
Bottled Water**
Flat Champagne

*Off the menu
**due to unforseen cirumstances all stock has been damaged

Arsene Wenger takes defeat like a man

2010-11-20T19:42:00.001Z

It was the water's fault! It's the wrong types of water! Putain de bordel de merde!

What else is there to say...I am buzzing

FIFA narrow goals an inch and forget to tell anyone

2010-11-19T09:18:00.000Z

Talking of humiliation:

Arses V Spurs

2010-11-19T08:59:00.004Z

If, as most of us do, Spurs fans accept that the usual roller coaster of a season will continue as normal then Saturday's game against the Woolwich Wanderers will be a dismal affair. Afterthe shockingly brilliant performance against Inter at the Lane I was actually excited as we drove towards that monument to banality that is the Reebok Stadium a couple of weeks ago. I joked that we'd probably play like donkeys but felt that we couldn't be that bad. In fact we weren't that bad. We were worse. It was abject from front to back of the team. Half decent Lancastrian pies didn't go far to ease the pain. Pav's goal was the only hight point in a game that made Bolton look like title contenders.

The draw with Sunderland in the week has only just been made to look half decent after their annihilation of Chelski but we were back to winning ways versus Blackburn. The peak of the roller coaster upturn was not the end of the game mind you. It was about 65 minutes in when we should have been cruising comfortably at 4-0. As is usual with both roller coasters and Spurs the downward rush was fast, shocking and yet pretty predictable. Only Spurs could panic at 4-0 and, to be honest, it could have been 4-4 at the end. Mind you, it could just have easily been 10-6. Defences are often likened to leaky buckets full of holes but Spurs' is more like the Maginot line: A big no entry sign in one or two places but some bloody obvious and easy ways round. Gallas is Belgium in this analogy.

With all that in mind we have some way to go before our cart rumbles towards another upturn. Our only hope is that we get there before the end of the Arse match. If we keep the first half down to 3 or fewer goals against we might prevent humiliation by getting a couple back. I can't say I'm looking forward to it.

so near yet so far yet so near

2010-10-26T18:39:00.005+01:00

My prediction of doom looked well and truly fulfilled on Wednesday when, after 10 mins, Spurs were a goalkeeper and two goals down to Inter in the San Siro. When it went to 4-0 the boy and I had even given up swearing at the TV. The incredible hat trick from Bale in the second half means that the record will show a close match and an exciting one. The latter is true but not the former. Still we proved we can score against them. Well, we proved that Gareth Bale can score against them. When that third one went in the boy leaped out of his seat and let out a guttural "YEESS" which then turned into a weird squeak. His voice hasn't been the same since. I then stupidly became optimistic and thought we could do it but the ref had had too much and blew up far too early.

Saturday versus Everton was the very definition of lacklustre. 1-1 suggests a touch of excitement but really I got more of thrill vicariously when seeing the enjoyment of a mate from South Africa who had come to his first Spurs game. I sat in the East Stand away from the rest of the crowd and had to endure a commentary on the ref, a lot of moaning and tutting whenever anyone tried to join in the singing. I may have had a better view than normal but I'm not sitting there again.

Score prediction

2010-10-20T15:09:00.002+01:00

I'm often less than optimistic when it comes to predicting Spurs results. When we are playing someone like Doncaster in the Carling Cup I imagine complacency, fluky goals and humiliation. It may have happened on relatively few occasions but those moments are seared on each Spurs fan's memory and tend (in the mind of the pessimist) to overshadow the times of triumph. I do sometimes (usually foolishly) lurch from pessimism to optimism but tonight, at the thought of Spurs' challenge in the San Siro, I am laughing much like a man condemned to death. I feel a 3-0 or worse coming on. I know Rafa has replaced Jose but can't get past our defensive frailties.

Paper

2010-10-20T14:55:00.006+01:00

I can't keep on top of it. My colleague has a clear desk and a few neat, ordered piles on the periphery. I can barely get to my keyboard to type this. I have a to do list and keep ticking things off but it doesn't seem to diminish the amount I have to do as I keep having to add things to it. "Tidy Desk" always seems so unimportant compared to the other things and, anyway, I don't really know how to tidy my desk. It sounds stupid but it's part psychological, part cognitive dysfuntion I think. I like order. I like tidyness. BUT I am not naturally inclined to achieving that. If literal suffocation or drowning in paper were possible I'd have been dead long ago. Instead I plough on with a permanent sense of foreboding whilst dressing frequent paper cuts.

Werner Von Braun said: "We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming". My 'gravity' is teaching. I'm pretty good at that.

this is me this is

2010-07-29T18:29:00.002+01:00

There are plenty of things that it's worth spending ages getting good at: Piano, football, brain surgery and so on. There are other things of which I found it hard to understand the motivation or reward: running a long way, synchronised swimming, preparing blowfish. This is something I would love to be able to do and I can imagine (almost/ sort of) actually putting in the hours if i had a genuine Bonzini table and a cool French bar to keep it in. ps. I know it's a Nokia viral but it's still impressive. pps. it's 'babyfoot' not 'foosball'.

Blog from iPhone

2010-07-16T08:27:00.003+01:00

I tried this when I first got it. It didn't work immediately so as with all things technical I gave up. A virus of some sort on my laptop is only reason I am checking e mail on this and therefore only reason I needed to reject a comment and finally the only reason why I am writing this descriptive account of what I am doing in some kind of more than 160 character tweet. Colleagues were trying to persuade me of the educational benefits of Twitter last Friday at a conference. I tried therefore for a 4th time but I am still missing the point somehow. I also saw a demo of how Second Life could be used in education. I definitely learnt something. Too much bloody effort! It was awful. I felt sorry for the guy presenting but he only has himself to blame- he was nervy, not convinced himself and didn't know how to compensate for tech glitches.

As I post this I am on the phone to my wife. I am in trouble for not concentrating. Or at least I will be when she sees the post time. Perhaps i should change it to earlier this morn. Then, of course, none of this would make sense and all this awkward prodding would be for nothing.

This is the world we live in. Arsebook, twattier etc which can be great but so often is the kind of descriptive banality I have written here. Anyway, I must go and clean my teeth.

Pre-season warm up

2010-07-05T20:35:00.003+01:00

Not long to wait now until the friendlies. Then 14 August is the first game. Against Man City. Who says it's a computer that works out the fixtures? I wonder who Cheslea have....? Oh yes, Granny Town FC. Still, I actually think that it's got to be better to play the MiddleEastlanders early considering the purchases they're making. Maybe the new boys will not have had a chance to gel by that stage. Today I heard Ya Ya Toure will be getting more than 200 grand. A week. As the boy says on Facebook: WTF?

Anyway, these will warm everyone up. It was especially chilly in South Africa for Defoe, Crouch, Lennon and King. Not to mention Assou-Akotto, Bassong and Gomez.