Brian is also Brianetta

My girl called me as she left work today to tell me that there was a giant snail blocking her way. In my mind I envisaged a grotesque doctor whoesque gastropod as she insisted it was as big as her. Now she's not exactly a giant herself and, to be absolutely clear, there's nothing grotesque or doctor whoesque about her but I thought it was stretching it. She sent me the picture below (the first one). I said that it was difficult to judge scale without a frame of reference. She said that it was OK because she would go back tomorrow and get another picture with her in it.

Anyway, she asked if her snail could feature here so I said yes. Then I thought it'd be interesting to read about snails. That's why I know they're gastropods. I skim read a few interesting things about diet and lifespan then saw the following picture. I learnt from this that snails have both penis and vagina. I don't know why it's interesting; probably because I anthropomorphise everything. Just ask Trevor, my girl's car.

Snail's are actually brilliant when you think about it. Just look at where this guy's/girl's eyes are and where his/ her anus is. They only have one foot though. In my view this is why they can't walk very fast.