New Kit

Of course it's a rip off and all that but the new kit's bit of trim adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the home shirt and the stripey socks add a touch of the Bertie Bassett. Apart from that, all I can say is Bleuuuurrrghhh. The light blue looks like a pair of old lady pyjamas and the stupid brown is back. We won't win anything wearing chocolate, AKA shite, brown. They've condemned us to another shocking season away from home.

I did a quick search for photos of it and the first picture below with Woody, Keano and Jenas isn't too bad. Except that Jenas is in it at all. (Berba conspicuous by his absence I think). The second photo scared the crap out of me. I mean, I know Robbie Keane came to us from Leprechaun United but the guy with the giant head looks ill. He is supposedly a hot prospect- Tomas Peckhart. I don't mean to be unkind but he looks like his neck'll snap if he runs too fast.

The only good thing about all this is that for once I am not feeling at all confident about next season. Much less chance of the same bitter disappointments that way.

Good riddance to chocolate

So, as per every year, the new kits are unveiled in time for parents all over North London and the South East (and one in Yorkshire) to mutter under their breaths: '£54.99...??? daylight robbery...I'll get his grandma to knit him one...bah.'

Glory glory hallelujah though; the chocolate monstrosity has gone. When Ferguson famously made his team change out of a grey strip at half time I scoffed along with the rest of the world but that shite brown thing they wore in some of our worst performances last season must have had an effect. Maybe it made them hungry or camouflaged or something.

The one Robbie is wearing is a one off to celebrate 125 years of THFC- it looks a bit like the Blackburn kit but is supposedly close to what the Spurs wore back in the days. The whole 125 year thing makes me feel old- I have a Spurs centenary shirt in a drawer somewhere- not that it fits so well now; people were smaller in those days.

I like the look on Berbatov's face: 'Why they put me in yellow? Yellow not a man's colour, I want Dawson shirt. Will use poison tipped umbrella on him in minute. That will show...now where I put my hair band...?'