While I'm on the subject of Chelsea...

Of course most people will have seen this by now but I like the yellow in contrast to the blue on this page:

And if anyone thinks I'm being mean then read this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-539397/100-000-week-football-star-John-Terry-ignores-60-fine-park-disabled-spot.html

I know it's from the Daily Mail but they have worked hard to evidence their claims and I don't see a retort from Terry's agent or, indeed, from his mum. It basically says he parked his big flashy car in a disabled spot for two hours so he could go for a pizza. Arrogant SOB is learning what karma feels like this week. Arrogance will be punished! (for evidence see Ronaldo's missed penalty in same game)

Chelsea

My grandad has supported chelsea all his life. Of course I want him to be happy but I was pleased when John Terry fluffed that penalty in the champ league final on Wednesday. I was pleased too when Drogba got sent off for being a spoilt baby. This isn't because of the rivalry or because:

• Chelsea are Spurs' second biggest rivals after Ar5ena1
• Drogba is a cheat
• it's funny seeing a bloke on 70k a week blub his eyes out wondering why no-one feels sorry for him
• they have bought recent success
• their supporters were disgraceful in the Carling Cup, leaving before the end and not making a noise even when 1-0 up
• I know an ex Blackburn "fan" who has metamorphasised into a a "die hard" Chelsea "fan" coincidentally as Blackburn became shite and Chelsea became good.

Nope, it's because a significant minority are like this bloke:

They have a Jewish owner and, until about 24 hours ago a Jewish coach. Still they didn't see the irony of taunting Spurs with anti semitic chants and this kind of Nazi stuff. The girl in the picture will grow up to be an ignorant snarling chav and the world will continue to be a miserable place. Knowing that this bloke was pissed off on Feb 24th and last Wednesday night makes me feel a bit better about that.

Knowing that there is no-one more decent on this planet than my grandad, that he was part of the fight against Nazism and that he'll have appreciated a good match gives me even more hope.

Fish skeleton

Barring global thermo nuclear war or total collapse of the world economy (neither of which are that unlikely I guess) I am never likely to commune with nature to the point that I am obliged to hunt and prepare the food that I eat. Mr Tesco does more than an adequate job of that thank you very much. But I did buy some mackerel the other day that actually still looked like what it did when it was alive. Except it didn't have a head. I cooked it and on opening it I was actually shocked to find it had a skeleton inside. My fish fingers never had mini fish phalanges or carp carpels. I had experienced bones of course but these were arranged randomly and discretely so as to inflict damage on all those eating with knives and forks rather than tweezers and scalpel. At my age I realise that this is probably a bit embarrassing but I still wanted to share my surprise. I even took a photo of it as a memento. The fish was nice.

Surreal toon

I saw this plaque on the ground when I was in Newcastle last week. Extensive searching eventually found the following newspaper article which, frankly, doesn't shed much light on it. To the shirt sleeve and short skirt stereotype I wish to add the following: People in Newcastle are weirdos.

http://archive.thenorthernecho.co.uk/2004/7/16/45626.html

Northern culture

There are the obvious quirks of northern life familiar to most because of representations on hilarious and much loved soaps and comedies on TV. Who can forget the aged yet cheeky antics of the chaps in Last of the summer wine? Large pinches of salt were needed up here when arrogant southerners accused all and sundry of being flat cap wearing pigeon and ferret lovers. Yesterday though we witnessed a phenomenon in Halifax that disturbed a lot more than it entertained and supplied serious ammunition to those all too ready to malign aspects of life in the north (i.e me). On a slight slope in the centre of town were a group of the most miserable looking marching troop. Bedecked in blue uniforms, topped off with feather dusters from the pound store, this bunch marched around to the the tune of plastic trumpets out of Christmas crackers and someone with some grease proof paper wrapped around a comb. It would have been OK if they'd looked like they were enjoying it but they all seemed utterly miserable. When they put their batons on the ground for a bit of really complex marching, the batons started rolling down the slope. The weirdest bit though was when they all did what can only be described as a fascist salute. What the heck was that all about? I was going to put a shilling in their pot until this point.

Mind you, if they are the new face of British Fascism then I don't think we have much to worry about.

Sales pitch

Berba selling something. Probably his last appearance on here. I'm guessing S will like this. There's a lot of talk about Eto'o coming to Spurs. he'll have to be damn good to be as good as Berba.

youkel...ukalay...ukelle....BANJO

I may or may not be related to one or more of the people in this video. Still, it's nice they get let out from time to time. In fact I and the boy have one of these things each. I thought it'd be easy to do what they're all doing in this vid but I can't even strum. It's much harder than it looks. I wanted to be like the German guy with Will Smith in the second video but I may have to forever remain the kid at the back of music class with a glockenspiel or a triangle, feilding withering looks from Miss Olmaid because of my utter ineptitude.



Don't worry that some of it is in German.