bored

So I come down to the south so that I can see my mum and other assorted family members for my birthday. However, Strictly Bum Dancing is on. All night. My grandad was looking forward to it when I left his house. Do not disturb signs appeared on doors from Plymouth to somewhere further north than where I live.

'We just want to catch the final, sorry,' said mum. The bloody programme has been on since I got here and it's nearly Match of the Day time. Normally I would phone my girl but, guess what, she's watching Shitely Cum Dancing too.

Best mate phoned from his seasonal visit to his parents. He's bored and in bed already because his whole family is glued to spackly come drossing.

I don't understand how the whole nation can be glued to this and apparently the only two people it has passed by are me and best mate. No wonder we're friends. No-one else wants to talk to us because of the absence of key TV in our water cooler speak repertoire.

I think it's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Well a bit like it.