Thursday, 19 February 2009

beds, shelves and memory foam

We were in the bed shop the other day. The tall salesman was the definition of oleaginousness. This is just as well as I'd have had no idea what it meant otherwise. He sold me seventeen beds even though I only went in for a pillow. As we mooched around trying to decide whether the £99 buy one get one free bed or the £2,500 bed with a built in, slide up TV would look best in the bedroom, we overheard him turn it on for a little old lady he'd sat down at a table near the door. "You'll be needing some new bedding with that nice new bed," he said as the manager grinned with relief from a few yards away; the credit crunch monster beaten off for another day.
"Oh and you should get one of these mattress protectors."
"I may be old but I'm not incontinent yet dear," said the sprightly purse string holder. There was laughter but the manager wasn't grinning any more.

I'm having some doors fitted and a corner unit built. The chippie asked me what stain I'd like on it. I said I'd rather just put on my own stains in the fullness of time. He explained that he meant some kind of wood protection. I said anything that was anywhere between the dark wood and the very dark wood already in the living room. "I'm colour blind," he said, " but I can take a picture and show it to someone at the shop."
"OK." I said. He bought some wax stain stuff and put it on. It was yellow.

I went to another bed shop this morning. I spent ages choosing a bed. In the end I went for a mid range number that looked like it'd be easy enough to assemble. The bloke started filling in the paperwork in between dipping his hands in a small pot of glee. "It'll be about 8 weeks for that one." I heard the glee pot drop to the floor and shatter as I walked out the door. I went on to another shop. They had the same bed and a memory foam mattress for half the price of the first shop. God was smiling on me for sure. This was confirmed after I had assembled it and tried the memory foam mattress. I am typing this from a horizontal position. My only concern is how I will get the mattress in my car tomorrow. There's no way I can go a whole day at work without it.

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