Thursday, 23 August 2007

Being considerate

Question: if you knew you snored loudly, would you go camping?
If you answered 'Yes' then answer this: Would you pitch your tent so close to someone else's (even when there is loads of room) that they could hear the thick untrimmed hairs in your nostrils scraping against your top lip as you snorted and rasped your way through the night?

After two nights under canvas I was able to stop envying my 'sleep anywhere in any conditions' son and rest myself; even, at times, comforted by owl hoots, persistent rain on canvas and other noises of nature. Somehow, despite it also being a natural phenomenon (though clearly not helped by the slovenly porker's preference for food made only of pig, cake, pies and/or lard), the snoring did not soothe me. Shouting 'For F***'s Sake, Will you shut the F*** up' didn't stop him either though it may well have generated some justifiably angry inconsiderate accusations in my direction.

It's amazing how ferocious and violent my fantasies became during the night. A gentle chastising would not have satiated my 4am blood lust. I wanted to chop his bloody head off.

Anyway, Next morning we moved our tent. I lied to the snoring man's wife and said it was because we were getting flooded. I'm sure she already knew her husband snores though I swear his tent was so close to mine that he and I were actually physically closer than he and his wife that night.

I've been needing to get that off my chest since we got home. I feel so much better now.

My mate used to snore. He was given a device that was designed to adminsiter an electric shock when a snoring noise was detected. He tried it only to find he was being zapped all the time from when there was any noise, even before he went to sleep. When I snore, I wake myself up with a start and get annoyed with myself.

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