I swear they have a sophisticated network of cow phones and some kind of Cow Intelligence Agency that has planted a tracking device somewhere on me or my car. Twice in one day our path was blocked by cows pretending not to notice us. No amount of honking could shift this one. I tried mooing out the window but it didn't move it. S/he looked closely at me, realised that I was speaking nonsense then looked bored again. The next day we got blocked by a whole herd crossing the road. I bet they'd been waiting for ages to step out just in time to delay me. I am not a big beef eater and most of my shoes are in fact canvas so their motives remain a mystery.
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